~ three

Tin cans dragging on strings behind the convertible, license plate ~ 'CHARIOT', driven by Jesus in shades.  Down the desert highway he drives in robes and a thorny crown, Mary at his side, filing her nails and looking like a ho ho ho.

Past the Vegas sign he drives the sign on car's back, 'Just Married'.

Mary - "Your dad is seriously the worst.  I mean sure.  'Queen of Heaven', if ever He finally fucking dies ... but the title's only symbolic !  It's not like I get to smite the world like you get to do every few thousand years ... it's just ... I feel like such a fucking accessory when He's around ... "

Jesus - "I'm ... really sorry He made you do the Seven Trials thing ... "

Mary - "Yeah !  What the fuck was that !?  I mean seriously !  What the fuck was that !?"

Jesus - "He's just very protective.  But He respects you.  Now."  Clears his throat.

Mary - Haunted in the eyes ... "No I mean, what was that ?"

Jesus - "Eh ... He just likes to keep a personal ... OH MY GOD !"  He swerves to avoid a Grinch in the road stroking a puppy, His car flipping then exploding.

Mary - From the flames, "I swear to God if this is another fucking trial ... "

Jesus - As they walk from the fire, "No ... it's him."

Capricorn - "Yes ... it's ME."

Bark !
________________

As Ghost and Dore karaoke with normal people at the bar ~

~ The cafeteria lights and decorations turns on, Voice and Lynx dancing with no one else around, Scrooge slinking off to the shadows ...

Jesus - On the road to Vegas with Mary, "How did you know !?  How did you know we would be here ?"

Grinch - "Yes ... we totally knew you would be here."  Looks to the side ...

Bark !

Mary - "Who is this guy ?"

Jesus - Rolling up His sleeves, "Every generation, the forces of darkness elect their worst, to await my return.  The Anti-Me.  And this generation ... it's him."

Grinch - "Me, me, me ... Forces of Darkness, gather to me now !  The end of days is Bill Nye."  He cocks his gun, "Science guy."

~ In lightning bolts his soldier elves appear from the darkening sky.

Jesus - "Leave science out of it, evil !  Forces of light, gather to me now that I may cherish thee ... "

They all look around ...

Jesus - "Or whoever happens to be around."

The bus honks then swerves to avoid them, rolling and exploding.  Praetorians walk from the fire with a lot of well armed nuns and ravenous children.

 

~ The rest of the bar joining the song as their two lines clash under the Vegas sign, Lynx and Voice dance ...

Libra walks through unscathed comparing the battle to her paper and off-screen, Grinch and Jesus fight to the bone, Antwerp has Mary pinned as she struggles to keep his merciless puppy jaws from her throat. 

~ The bar sings on, karaoke judges shaking their heads (the song on display is 'Round and Round').
________________

The Grinch in handcuffs, the puppy gets a collar, it growls. 

Grinch - Led away by the police, "I'll get you next time Jesus !"

Santa and Jesus stare into each other's eyes with an historical rage.

Santa - "We meet again."

Jesus - "You know my opinions."

Santa - "And mine still stand."

...

Santa - Extends his hand, "For Mexico."

Jesus - "For what ?"

Santa - "For Mexico."

Jesus - "Really ?  I mean, I love Mexico it's just ... "

Santa - "For Mexico."

Jesus - "Well.  Okay.  For ... Mexico !"

They all cheer as the song returns to the bar while Scrooge skulks the field for bones to break with a sledgehammer.

Frenchman - "Ha !"  Crack with moans of pain.  "Spirit of Christmas ... begone !"  The wailing sounds of torturous ghosts delivered back to whence they came.

In Vegas, Jesus and Mary never lose.  They gamble every machine and table through the credits, eating all the free meals with showgirls spliced between. 

In the end an Escalator to Heaven appears, as they glide up ~

Mary - "Who were those fucking guys ?"

Jesus - "Bad people who choose to do good things."

Mary - "So ... assholes."

Jesus - "Total assholes."  He smiles back down at them as the elves wave money in a circle around two more fighting, nuns following the children as they skitter off into the desert.  "They're the ones who show up."

Mary - "Hm."

The sky closes behind them.